This abysmal progenitor of the non-existent 'torture porn' genre is a cynical, xenophobic and misogynistic mess of a badly plotted flesh-and-gore horror film, which in no way deserves any of the success or attention it gained on release. Exec-produced by Quentin Tarantino, who evidently loves the terrible films to which his work so frequently pays homage, the mind boggles as to how such a distinguished film maker could put his name to such a poorly-scripted rubbish dump of a movie, and as to how director Eli Roth is somehow being proclaimed the saviour of American horror with such uninspiring and frankly tame adolescent fantasy.
The plot, as we are forced to refer to it, follows American backpacker Jay Hernandez and his clearly soon-to-be-dead companions, a fellow American and a ridiculously sex-mad drifter from Iceland, as they blunder their way across a Europe populated entirely by stoned glamour models. Roth may claim the film as an indictment of ignorant American sensibilities abroad, but attempts to use this as a shield against his own incredibly blunt and bizarre realisation of Slovakia as a pit of hell, inhabited only by evil, beautiful prostitutes, violent, twisted German businessmen and feral packs of murderous children is offensive.
More offensive still is the sickening mound of stupidity we are force-fed through the characters' cataclysmicly dumb actions. Oh, there's a youth hostel near Bratislava filled with beautiful women who are horny for American men? Yes, I believe you, sinister pimp, lets trot off on a merry expedition over there. Oh, my friends have disappeared mysteriously, I know, I'll ask that suspicious prostitute who drugged me if she can help. She can? Brilliant! I'll just follow her into this ominous old warehouse surrounded by shady business and from which all those screams are emanating. Oh, whoops.
Perhaps most infuriating is that Roth is clearly a talent, to which the few spatterings of genius attest (the baffled receptionist in the titular hostel, the monetary use of bubblegum) and it is impossible to understand why he so deliberately goes out of his way to blow gaping holes through his own film. Jay Hernandez is a good actor (as he showed in the underrated Crazy/Beautiful) but has little to do here apart from grin flirtatiously and then scream as his fingers are chainsawed off.
Indeed, the torture scenes are surprisingly tame, given the controversy at time of release. There is only one full one, in which the other American is drilled to bits (killing off the only interesting sub-plot, and conforming to the tired cliché of kill those who give in to sex), and the other bits here and there are generally mostly off screen violence. In fact, everything here you will have seen before. If you want to see a grimy, horrific film, watch Se7en. If you want to see gore, watch Braindead. Hell, if you want to see eyeball-related violence (the supposedly unique selling point of Hostel) then watch Un Chien Andalou, a film which by seventy-six years predates this ill-conceived, narcissistic and adolescent pile of cinematic excrement.
1/5
The plot, as we are forced to refer to it, follows American backpacker Jay Hernandez and his clearly soon-to-be-dead companions, a fellow American and a ridiculously sex-mad drifter from Iceland, as they blunder their way across a Europe populated entirely by stoned glamour models. Roth may claim the film as an indictment of ignorant American sensibilities abroad, but attempts to use this as a shield against his own incredibly blunt and bizarre realisation of Slovakia as a pit of hell, inhabited only by evil, beautiful prostitutes, violent, twisted German businessmen and feral packs of murderous children is offensive.
More offensive still is the sickening mound of stupidity we are force-fed through the characters' cataclysmicly dumb actions. Oh, there's a youth hostel near Bratislava filled with beautiful women who are horny for American men? Yes, I believe you, sinister pimp, lets trot off on a merry expedition over there. Oh, my friends have disappeared mysteriously, I know, I'll ask that suspicious prostitute who drugged me if she can help. She can? Brilliant! I'll just follow her into this ominous old warehouse surrounded by shady business and from which all those screams are emanating. Oh, whoops.
Perhaps most infuriating is that Roth is clearly a talent, to which the few spatterings of genius attest (the baffled receptionist in the titular hostel, the monetary use of bubblegum) and it is impossible to understand why he so deliberately goes out of his way to blow gaping holes through his own film. Jay Hernandez is a good actor (as he showed in the underrated Crazy/Beautiful) but has little to do here apart from grin flirtatiously and then scream as his fingers are chainsawed off.
Indeed, the torture scenes are surprisingly tame, given the controversy at time of release. There is only one full one, in which the other American is drilled to bits (killing off the only interesting sub-plot, and conforming to the tired cliché of kill those who give in to sex), and the other bits here and there are generally mostly off screen violence. In fact, everything here you will have seen before. If you want to see a grimy, horrific film, watch Se7en. If you want to see gore, watch Braindead. Hell, if you want to see eyeball-related violence (the supposedly unique selling point of Hostel) then watch Un Chien Andalou, a film which by seventy-six years predates this ill-conceived, narcissistic and adolescent pile of cinematic excrement.
1/5
3 comments:
I'm quite disappointed no one has leapt to this sewer-born piece of trash's defence.
:( Sad face.
Well I was told that it's dead scary film and when it was released in cinemas I was about to embark on a budget holiday, staying in a number of hostels. Once the holiday was over I considered watching it, then thought better of it in case the rumour that it's dead scary was actually true. I quite like staying in low-cost hostels when I go away, so I'm not going to risk watching it, just in case I disagree with your review that it's utter sickening shite and find it underwear-soiling scary as hell.
It's not scary at all, it is quite gory though. Just not gory enough to stake a claim as a great gore flick. Mostly its poorly-thought out softcore porn.
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